Divorcing after the age of 55 is becoming a more common occurrence; so much so, it has been given the nickname of “gray divorce.” This type of divorce is the separation of older couples — most after many years of marriage. While the overall rates of divorce are declining, divorce rates among couples over 55 are on the rise. It seems that Baby Boomers, a generation that married young, are now ending their marriages. Statistically, second or third marriages and marriages that start young are the leading causes for divorce. While people get divorced for numerous reasons, there are three overarching points that seem to give an explanation for gray divorce: changing stigmas surrounding divorce, couples growing apart, and an overall longer life expectancy. These factors all blend together to explain the rise in divorce among older couples.
Less Stigma
In the past, divorce was considered a taboo. If couples were to get a divorce, it would be due to infidelity or other extreme circumstances. Today, couples are divorcing more frequently because there is less stigma surrounding separation. For example, public figures like Al and Tipper Gore, who ended their 40-year marriage, said it was because they simply grew apart. The rise of women empowerment and independence are also contributing factors. As independence is gained, divorce is being seen not as a failure or betrayal but as a chance for two people to improve their own quality of life.
Growing Apart
Spending a lifetime with someone is a long time. People are constantly growing and changing, so it should be expected that each person’s views and personalities will change over time. Couples who have endured through trouble and adversities in life have stronger relationships. For other couples, these life hurdles actually lead to disagreement and resentment instead, making it easier for people to grow apart. As time invites hardship, hardship ends up putting strains on relationships.
Longer Life Expectancy
A century ago, the average life expectancy was 50 years old. Now that the life expectancy has been raised to 80 years, seniors now want to spend the rest of their years with someone who makes them happy. Things like group exercise, book clubs, and other social gatherings are opening up to seniors to live their best life and explore themselves even more so. If one partner finds purpose in their new interests and their significant other does not, it could lead them to grow apart and eventually separate.
There is no easy way to decide to end a life-long commitment like marriage. Many different factors contribute to a decision to no longer be married. For older couples, factors like the lessening of a stigma surrounding divorce, the growing apart from one’s partner, and living longer lives, may influence their decision to get divorced. Traditional social norms are being left in the past as women become more empowered to strike out on their own and men realize they don’t need a wife to take care of them. Gray divorce is on the rise because people recognize that their own happiness is more important than conforming to what is expected by society.
Sierra Kerbyson
B.S. Health Science, California State University Long Beach
